Mental Health Support for Men in the UK: Where to Start

Struggling and not sure who to call? This is a straight guide to your options, from crisis lines and NHS support to therapy, men's groups and coaching, and how to choose what fits you.

If you need help now

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E.

If you're thinking about ending your life, or you just need someone to talk to right now:

• Samaritans: call 116 123, any time of day or night
• CALM: call 0800 58 58 58, or use the webchat, from 5pm to midnight every day
• Shout: text SHOUT to 85258
• NHS 111: call 111 for urgent help that isn't life threatening

You don't have to decide whether it's serious enough. If you're asking the question, make the call.

You don't need the right words

Most of us don't go looking for help the first time something feels wrong. We wait. We tell ourselves it isn't that bad, that other men have it worse, that it will pass once work calms down.

If you've ended up on this page, you've stopped waiting.

You don't need to know what's wrong before you reach out. You only need to know what your options are. Here they are, what each one is for, and how to choose.

Start with what you need right now

• You're in crisis: use the numbers at the top of this page.
• You feel low or anxious, and it's affecting your sleep, your work or your daily life: start with your GP or NHS Talking Therapies.
• You want to work through something with a trained professional: look at therapy or counselling.
• You feel alone and have nobody to talk to: try a men's group.
• You're coping on the outside, but keep hitting the same patterns: look at men's circles or coaching.

These aren't either/or. Plenty of men use more than one.

Your GP and NHS Talking Therapies

Your GP is a good first call if you're not sure what's going on, or if you think medication or a referral might help. Tell them plainly how long you've felt this way and what it's affecting.

In England, you can also go straight to NHS Talking Therapies without seeing a GP first. It supports common problems like anxiety, depression and stress. If you live elsewhere in the UK, your GP can tell you what's available near you.

Private therapy or counselling

Therapy gives you one person, trained to help you work through what's going on, over as many sessions as you both agree.

Going private usually means you can choose who you see and when you start. Look for someone on a professional register, such as BACP's. It's fine to speak to a few therapists before you choose, and it's fine to look specifically for one who works with men. Fees vary, so ask before you book.

Free peer support groups

Sometimes the most useful thing is a room full of men who get it.

ANDYSMANCLUB is a men's suicide prevention charity that runs free talking groups across the UK. They meet on Mondays at 7pm, except bank holidays, and you don't need to book. Just turn up.

Men's groups and circles

A men's circle is a space where men sit together and speak honestly about what's actually going on. No banter to hide behind. No fixing each other. You speak, you listen, and you get to be seen.

A circle isn't therapy or treatment. What it can give you is connection, honesty and other men who will notice if you stop showing up. Groups vary a lot, so ask who runs it, how it works and whether you can try a session before you commit.

Coaching

Coaching looks at where you are now and where you want to go. It suits men who are functioning, but stuck. The career looks fine, the relationship keeps hitting the same wall, and something feels missing.

A good coach will challenge you and hold you to what you say you want. Coaching isn't a treatment for a mental health condition. Some men work with a coach and a therapist at the same time. Ask any coach about their training and experience, and whether they'll tell you when something is beyond what they can help with.

Where Men of Earth fits

We're not a crisis service, and we're not therapy.

We work with men who look fine on the outside but feel disconnected on the inside. Men who are self aware, tired of trying to think their way out, and ready to be challenged.

If you're in crisis, or you need treatment for your mental health, start with the services above. Everything else will still be here when you're ready.

If that sounds like where you are, here's how you can work with us:

• Men's circles: in person in London and Frome, and online every week.
• Inner Circle: our online men's community
• Men's retreats: four days of deep work in South Wales
• 1:1 coaching: a multi month commitment to working with me directly

Not sure which? Start here.

Common questions

How much does mental health support cost? The crisis lines above, NHS services and ANDYSMANCLUB are free. Private therapy, coaching and most retreats are paid.

Is a men's group the same as therapy? No. Therapy is one or more trained professionals treating what's going on for you. A men's group is about connection and honest conversation. Many men find both useful.

Do I need a diagnosis to get help? No. You don't need a diagnosis to call a helpline, speak to your GP or join a men's group.

What if I don't know what to say? Say that. "I don't know what to say, but I'm not okay" is enough to start with, whether it's to a GP, a helpline or a room full of men.

You don't have to work it all out first. Just take the next step.

If this helped, send it to a man who needs it.